Based on an extraordinary dream felt on 5/4/2016:
The protests escalated into a form of confused chaos that is very quintessentially Indonesian. A sea of men in white robes and white hats and jet black beards shaking the gates like lustful rabid beasts, aiming to please the ideas that they have made for themselves.
I exit the building, and walk towards the gates, coming face to face with the smell of their tired and pungent yelling underneath their breaths. They all want me out of my office, out of my job, because I am not devout. Because I cause problems for their masters. Because I talk too much and because i “challenge the divine”. Every reason is a foil for the violence that they desire.
The last stand comes. I walk over to the power generator where their microphones source their power and snip off the cable, making the cage rattle harder as the beasts roughly sway.
I command the guards to open the gates (of course they were hesitant), but I assured them that nothing will harm them, as the target is me alone.
Before the moment comes, within the loud anger of the rioters, I take the closest megaphone and speak what would become my last words:
DEMI PENGUASA (For the Master)
Terima kasih (Thank you)
Hari ini aku akan jatuh (today I will fall)
Berkat saudara2ku (with help from my brothers)
Bikinlah ibuku menangis (Make my mother cry)
Agar kau bisa merasa benar (so that you can feel right)
Lemparlah kepalan tanganmu (toss a fist)
Agar darahku bikin kau puas (so that my blood can make you smile)
Bikinlah anakku rindu (Make my children yearn)
Demi nama kepercayaan yang kau buat sendiri itu (for your take)
Dari sesuatu yang sebenarnya indah (on a belief that is supposed to be beautiful)
Apa yang sesungguhnya kau cari? (What are you really looking for?)
Jubah putih, peci putih (White robes, white hat)
Buku tulisan (notebooks)
Kitab yang di coret2 (A tome filled with scribbles)
Teriakan bau (The smelly yelling)
Mahkluk2 ganas (of rabid beasts)
Sepertinya kau mengerti (It seems you understand)
Kalau aku seharusnya tidak pantas di dunia ini (that I am not supposed to be on this lovely earth)
Denganmu (with you)
Demi tuhanmu yang tersenyum (For your lord who smiles)
Ketika musuhmu lumpuh (when your enemy is destroyed)
Demi tuhanmu yang membisikkan keinginan untuk kehancuran (for your lord that whispers destruction)
Ke kupingmu (into your ear)
Demi tuhan yang ingin kau (for your lord who wants you)
Mati untuknya (to die for them)
Demi tuhan yang ingin kau hidup (for your lord that wants you to live)
Hanya untuk menyembahnya (only to praise them)
Demi peraturan yang kau ikuti dengan teladan (for the rules you make that you follow so well)
Yang sengaja membedakan manusia dengan manusia lain (that divides humans from other humans)
Dan buat tuhanmu bangga (and make your lord proud)
karena dia tidak akan bisa senang (because they could not be happy)
kalau kau tidak bangga (if you aren’t)
Inilah apa yang kau berikan (This is what you give).
I spread my arms. The guards open the gates. The earth shakes.
There will be no martyrs here.